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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967067">my cursed school project</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amajiki_is_kirby/pseuds/amajiki_is_kirby'>amajiki_is_kirby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(as always), Alphonse Elric Is A Cinnamon Roll, Brief Riza Hawkeye Cameo, Crack, Edward Elric Being Insecure About His Height, Edward Elric Is A Little Shit, Gen, I did this for a school project, My teacher is going to read this, Peer Pressure, Riza Hawkeye is Done with his Shit, Roy Mustang Being a Little Bitch, She doesn't even talk, me trying to be funny, protect him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:40:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amajiki_is_kirby/pseuds/amajiki_is_kirby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So. This week for my health class, I had to write a skit of a character being offered some sort of drug or alcohol, and I saw an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. Enjoy this cursed and rather short school project. (Second chapter consists of a few discarded lines I didn't end up using.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alphonse Elric &amp; Edward Elric &amp; Riza Hawkeye, Alphonse Elric &amp; Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Cursed Project Itself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mustang: Hey, Edward.<br/>Edward: What do you want old man?<br/>Mustang: I’m only thirty. Anyway, look at this.<br/>(Mustang pulls a bottle of alcohol out of absolutely nowhere and slides it across the table to Edward.)<br/>Edward: …<br/>Mustang: Sippy sip.<br/>Edward: First of all, why on Earth would you word it like that? Second of all, no.<br/>Mustang: Coward.<br/>Edward: I am not a coward, coward!<br/>Mustang: If you’re not a coward then drink it, coward.<br/>Edward: I’m fifteen.<br/>Mustang: And?<br/>(Edward raises an eyebrow. Alphonse steps onto the scene.)<br/>Alphonse: What’s going on here?<br/>Edward: Mustang is being a coward.<br/>Mustang: How am I the coward here?!<br/>Edward: You just are!<br/>Mustang: You’re the coward for not drinking the darned thing!<br/>Alphonse: Isn’t alcohol bad?<br/>Mustang: Not necessarily.<br/>Alphonse: I heard that since our brains aren’t developed when we’re teenagers it can mess up our heads though!<br/>Mustang: Oh whatever.<br/>Edward: You expect me to listen to some alcoholic old man?<br/>Mustang: Once again, I’m only thirty. And I’m not an alcoholic.<br/>Edward: Okay boomer.<br/>Mustang: Edward- sigh- just drink it.<br/>Edward: No.<br/>Mustang: You’re short.<br/>(Edward slams his hands on the table and stands up, glaring at Mustang.)<br/>Edward: Say it again.<br/>Mustang: You’re. Short.<br/>(Edward proceeds to start yelling absolute gibberish that sounds like a group of hundreds of extremely upset feral cats. This goes on for about thirty seconds. Riza enters the room. She lets out a single deep sigh, turns, and leaves. Edward sits back down in the chair.)<br/>Mustang: So will you drink it now?<br/>Edward: No.<br/>Mustang: Okay fine. Coward. I advise you to listen to the adults next time though.<br/>Edward: I will when they stop acting like children.<br/>Mustang: ...Understandable.<br/>(Mustang then leaves and the scene closes.)</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Discarded Lines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lines I decided not to include.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward: I'm fifteen.<br/>Mustang: Not anymore.<br/>(The part of my brain that writes shit that makes no sense decided to put this there and obviously I discarded it because- well- it didn't make sense.)</p><p>Alphonse: Isn't alcohol bad?<br/>Mustang: Alphonse, you'll understand how important it is when you're older.<br/>(Figured a reference to alcoholism may not be the best thing in this case, especially since Mustang isn't y'know, canonically alcoholic.)</p><p>Alphonse: I heard that since our brains aren't developed when we're teenagers it can mess up our heads though!<br/>Mustang: To be fair, Edward already behaves like he has brain damage.<br/>(I figured that this was probably too offensive.)</p>
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